Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
