chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
