The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm always down for nudity.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
