I can't watch pbs sober anymore
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
