You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
