I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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