we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
