Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
