are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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