oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
