Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
