remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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