Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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