I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
