He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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