i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
