So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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