we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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