Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
