I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
