what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
