Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
