Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
