He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
