Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
