No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
