Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize