You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
