im about as happy as oj after his trial
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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