would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
