super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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