I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
