Whod you bang
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm having to shit out rocks
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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