found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize