It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
