I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
