ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
