Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize