so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
