craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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