C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
