what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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