So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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