Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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