we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize