the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
