And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
