after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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