this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
