3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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