6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
