Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
NoShamevember. You game?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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