I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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