due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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