Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
