You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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