This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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