I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize