Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
