I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
