i just wanna soil my oats bro
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
