Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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