I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
