Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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