if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize