the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
