I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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