i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
