oh fat girl friday strikes again...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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