Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
