i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
