next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
