Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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