drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
